Many women whose husbands have left due to another woman, go through the stage of ‘should I confront her or not’ syndrome. Sometimes, so engrossed in our thoughts of ‘how do I save my marriage‘ along with how to get my husband back home, we allow our emotions to take us to the action of confronting the other woman. Clouded by the judgement that this woman did us wrong, we never for a moment consider the consequences of confronting her.
You are probably thinking of how to win your husband back, so that you could get this man you love back home and somewhere in your head, you believe confronting her is important; but doing this can be detrimental.
Do you really want added information about the affair in your long term memory? Will you be able to live with the details that she gives you? Ask yourself “Will I still want to know all the positive tips on how to my get husband back or how to save my marriage now that I know all the specific details of their meeting? If you really love yourself and your husband, you will omit finding information about that woman, the affair and focus all your positive energy on how to get your husband back home where he belongs.
This woman can lie about any question you may ask her. She can paint a picture of how great your husband is to her which can be far from the truth, which can make you wonder, can I save my marriage? And sadly many hurting wives believe those lies. This woman is not concern about your feelings. She does not care about you saving your once loving family. Why should she not manipulate the affair and lie about the whole situation, knowing it will get you to feel at your lowest? She does not care about your slogan of ‘how to get my husband back’ in any way. So why put your trust in anything that she would have to say? Placing value in anything she could tell you is a mistake and a waste of your time and it helps in no way to win your husband back.
Is it important that this woman become aware of what is valuable to you? Should you have her to become aware that you are working on how to get him back home? NO! The more she gets to know about you and your plans, the more difficult she will make it for you to be able to save your marriage. When you confront her, you make yourself appear vulnerable and irrational because most times the wife tends to cry, beg, plead or make threats to the other woman. Why would you want to appear so powerless?
By not confronting her, you make it impossible to slip out any communication of your plans of working to save your marriage. This little slip can work against you in that this woman can now manipulate your husband in staying away and giving her all that she wants. Do you want that? Will that work in your favor of getting him back home?
You may still want to confront her, because you have drawn up a fairytale picture of how the situation will go and believe that you can handle the outcome. But you need to give serious thought to doing this. Ask yourself how will it help in acquiring you peace of mind. Will it work for me or against me? I reassure you the latter is what it does. Instead of giving into that urge of confrontation, I recommend you find more information on how to save your marriage and how to get husband back to your once loving home. A good read is Mend the Marriage by Brad Browning. He gives plenty of information on doing just that in the way your husband will respect you for after restoring back your lives.